Soap is not a condiment
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.