Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.