but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old