were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.