theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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