Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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