have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He passed out mid-signature
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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