And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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