Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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