Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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