he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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