Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize