Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize