if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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