why didn't you poke me back
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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