It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill