I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING