I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.