We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say