Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast