He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
