I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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