forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm