She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.