I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
