do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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