I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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