this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
