I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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