I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
