; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
