I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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