Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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