Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The pigeons can smell the fear
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
I was spiderman.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.