Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
