Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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