Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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