Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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