i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"