i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece