i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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