I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
