One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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