I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize