Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.