I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again