Ambien. No doubt about it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?