I need help removing her.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.