We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually