so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...