dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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