Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
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i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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