She said her name was "party"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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