I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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