i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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