I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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