even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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