so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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