either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
