my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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