We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
