I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize