stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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