someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
